The Difference Between Loneliness and Incompleteness
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18)
All humans were created with desires from God. One of these is the desire for Him. We need God above all things in life. Without Him we are incomplete. Another desire God has given us is the desire to have companionship. Interpersonal communication is important; we were never meant to be monks. Males and females were given a desire for companionship with each other. God wants to bring together Godly couples, especially in an age of lawlessness.
I have seen many young people over the years run after relationships that hurt them and others. While God wants to bring us companionship, we must understand the difference between the desire for spiritual completion and the desire for loneliness. They are quite different. Let’s look at Adam in the Garden.
When Adam was in the Garden, the Bible tells us that he was alone. The Hebrew word for alone is bad and it means separation. It can mean separation from a part of the body or even a branch being separate from the rest of the tree. It comes from the word badad, which means to withdraw or isolate.
Before we look at what it means to be lonely, let’s examine Adam’s life in Genesis 1 and 2. Adam had an assignment from God: Be fruitful, multiply, and take dominion over the earth (Genesis 1:26-28). He had direction from God: “Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but eat from the other trees” (Genesis 2:15-17). He had identity – he was made to be a Son of God. He was walking in obedience to God. God brought all the animals to him, and he named them. This was part of his duty to take dominion over the earth. He had provision – the Garden of Eden. Eden means delightful. He had fellowship with God. Adam was complete.
There was one thing Adam wanted that the animals could not satisfy – that was someone to share all of these wonderful things with. He wanted to share the provision, direction, assignment, identity – completeness – with someone else. He was complete, but he wanted companionship. God sent Adam a “help-mate”, which literally means someone who is helpful opposition.
In other words, his wife would be someone who had strengths where he had weaknesses, and vice/versa. In order to really appreciate all of the wonderful things God had given Adam, he needed another perspective that was different than his own. God took a rib from Adam’s side to make his bride. This is to show us the side by side relationship Godly companionship brings. Neither is to dominate or manipulate the other. To enjoy companionship, it requires completeness in our lives. When we look for a mate in life, we should seek someone who is also complete because their intent and motivation will be in the right place.
Completeness can only be fulfilled spiritually by God. Because most people do not understand spiritual things, they look to the natural realm to become complete. When a person is incomplete, they often will look to companionship to fill a spiritual void. People often look for someone else to be their provision, identity, assignment – their God! They will serial date, sleep around, and flirt around looking to fill their void for COMPLETENESS. They may even participate in drunkenness, drugs, pornography, or other behaviors.
Human emotions are powerful. When we are emotionally driven, then we are motivated to act in sometimes illogical ways to fulfill a longing in our hearts. This can cause us to be destructive towards others and ourselves without realizing it. God is the only one who can complete you and meet your ultimate needs. Human emotions can trick us into thinking that human touch and companionship fulfills something only God can provide.
With this revelation knowledge, let us discern whether our behavior is based out of a desire for completeness or loneliness.